On April 1, 2013, I took steps to change my life for the better. April 1 is a day that I think I will always remember in my life. I was finally sick and tired of being lazy and overweight and did something to change. It was (and still is) something that I have to continue to fight for and the road wasn’t a straight or easy path. I’ve learned so much good and bad along the way and continue to learn more every day, month and year. I still struggle, I still fail, I still accomplish, have excellent days and depressive days. It’s a journey. I would say the past year has taught me more to be easier on myself. I am not perfect and I cannot expect perfection. I am more kind to myself. If I miss a workout, my whole training schedule isn’t off like I used to think it was. It is just a day I missed. Life goes on, the earth keeps spinning and no one else cares. Whether I missed it because of sleep, illness or I just wasn’t feeling it, it is OK. I am easier on myself in social situations. I can eat that piece of cake, drink that extra drink and spend time with my amazing friends. I know how to get back on track. I know how not to spin out of control. And if I do go a little out of control, I know what I need to do to get my health back together and I have the willpower and confidence to do that.
I still struggle with my body image, numbers, times, paces, etc. but I have realized my worth to those I love is so much more than those numbers. They don’t see those numbers. I am so much more to them. And I am worth so much more to myself after being on this 3-year journey. I still have to fight and remind myself why I do this and why it is worth it. It is because of these people who see me for who I am. It is for me feeling comfortable and able to do anything I want. I am worth it.
The past year or so I’ve done so many things I’ve never done in my life including: sky diving, snow shoeing, hiking, downhill skiing, cross country skiing, stand up paddle boarding, ran a half marathon, a 10k, am teaching spin class and more. I would have never done these things before as my weight held me back. I am so grateful for these experiences and can’t wait to see what upcoming years hold for me. Maybe I can try water skiing next? No doubt my year was filled with good friends, good food, good beer, good exercise and great experiences.
Personal experiences this year have affected me more than probably any other year of my life. Family issues, health and even work. It makes a person take stock of what you value. Right now I am giving myself a break and am on a vacation in Las Vegas with my dear, dear friends that I have known for years. I am probably eating too much, definitely drinking too much and not exercising every day. They don’t care and neither do I. Back to normal life when I return. Sure this vacation probably cost too much, I just went on vacation and I didn’t plan anything. Who cares? These are my people and who knows if we will ever be able to repeat this long weekend with them? Live your life. Be happy! You are worth it. Be kind to yourself. It is never too late to change your life. I’m 36+ years old and feel better and more confident than ever in my health, my friendships, my marriage and my life. Making small changes to a better you is so worth it. It is never too late! You are worth it!
I don’t know how much longer I will blog, but thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me these past few years and followed me as I stumble through learning about myself. Here’s to year 4!