In honor of the Bismarck Marathon being held today, I thought this would be an appropriate post. While I am not running the full, or even half marathon, I am participating in the marathon relay on my work’s corporate team. I have been training to make sure I can complete the run, and luckily, our group is running for fun and maybe a beer afterwards to celebrate!
My husband asked me the other week if I enjoyed running. I laughed and said no. But that isn’t entirely true. I explained my thoughts during a run and in general, this happens almost every time I go on a longer run. I set up a for example time line below. I don’t know if I am the only person who thinks this way? There is a good chance I am thinking these thoughts during the marathon.
First 5-10 minutes: Oh my God. Why am I doing this? I sound like a drowning rhinoceros. My breathing is so loud. I am so out of shape. This was a bad idea. I should just turn around now. Will this ever get easier? Certainly people in the next town must hear me breathing so hard. I’ll never make it the whole hour.
15-20 minutes: OK I can breath. This isn’t bad. Heck, this is kind of easy. I got this. What was I even worried about? It’s so pretty and nice outside! The birds are so gorgeous, they are so happy and chirping so nicely. The colors outside are wonderful. I love life and fitness! This breeze feels wonderful and the temperature is just great.
30 minutes: I could probably run a half marathon if I wanted to! Wheee!!
35-40 minutes: My God my feet are hot. Why are they so hot? Ugh, I am sweating through this shirt and hat. This hill must certainly be 500 feet long and high. I’m just going to slow down for a bit. Oh my gosh I still have to turn around and get back home. I’m never going to make it. I can use my cell phone and have my husband come pick me up, right?
45 minutes: Why, no matter which way I go am I going against the wind? I didn’t even think it was windy out? It’s so windy! And it’s hot. The sun is so fiery. I’m too old for this crap. I should have tried this 20 years ago. Who am I kidding? This sucks. My knees are kind of sore. I’m old. I’m not running again after this week. Screw it.
50 minutes: OK, I am almost home/done. Thank you Jesus. I can hardly breathe. My lungs might explode? What if I have a heart attack right here on the sidewalk? I must be running a 15 minute mile at this point for sure. I hope I don’t see anyone I know. How embarrassing. Why do I do this? Why are those birds so loud? Stupid birds. I just want to get to my house and eat and shower. I hate being outside. I hate running. This is dumb.
60 minutes: Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus. I am home/done. I am so tired. I need a gallon of water now. Ugh, I am so sweaty. But I’m done. Yeah for being done and finishing and not having to quit.
65 minutes (after stretching out): Dang. That felt good. That was a good run. I feel so accomplished. I am going to eat something healthy and start planning my next run! Wheee! I love exercise, I love fitness. Let’s do this!! (At this point I totally forget all the bad things above.)
Anyone else? Just me?
Whatever your thoughts – good luck today to all runners!